As a new year approaches, it’s easy to look back on the year that has past and feel a mix of emotions. It would seem I am not the only one, but more like the majority, that have had a rougher than usual year. The past few years, I have been only too happy to say goodbye to the past year and welcome in the new year. Each year I have hoped and dreamed of it being better than the previous. Sadly, the past six (or more) years have been hard. Each year has been more stressful than the one before. Each year has had a number of battle grounds. This past year was no different.
2016 was probably the worst year of them all yet. In retrospect to what has happened other years, it shouldn’t have been felt as badly, but you know the saying, “the last straw broke the camel’s back”... that was me. Over the past few years of all that has taken place, this was the year I just eventually “broke”. No more.
God promises us He never gives us more than we can bear (1 Corinthians 10:13). What I forgot was that I needed to lean more closely into Him.
At one point recently, I told my husband, I know I haven’t passed any trials with honors this year, but I think I passed & overcame regardless. While it was said in a joking manner, there is truth. I may have been “skinned” alive, but I am still walking, breathing and more importantly, praising and thanking God through it all. There have been days, okay, more like weeks, where I just couldn’t anymore. I questioned much. I searched for answers. I begged & pleaded for revelation.
I prayed & searched for strongholds, fears, disobedience, sin, healing & forgiveness etc… because surely there must be something at the root…
Eventually I gave up. I told God that whatever it is, He either didn’t want me to know or He needed to break me some more in order to find it. Knowing what I felt, I was unable to handle anything else and still asking God to do whatever needed to be done, He answered. It was simple.
All of us experience trials. It is inevitable.
Lean into me (God).
I was reminded of Joseph. Noah. Daniel. Moses. Abraham. David. They had displayed a characteristic I needed: To be confident in just knowing that God is with me. Through it all. If I know that I know that God is still in control, what does it really matter what is happening around me or the who or the why. God knows. God IS in control.
This New Year, 2017, I am not asking for a better year. I am not dreaming of a “prosperous” New Year.
I am asking God to help me through the year despite what comes. I am asking for His strength to carry me through the hard times which may come. I am asking for His peace to fill me through the year. I am asking for His joy to overwhelm me. I am asking Him for His presence to sustain me, comfort me, fill me and lead me.
Throughout the year to come, good or bad, my “goal” will be to FIXATE my eyes, my thoughts, and my heart on GOD.