Wednesday, December 28, 2016

A New Year


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As a new year approaches, it’s easy to look back on the year that has past and feel a mix of emotions. It would seem I am not the only one, but more like the majority, that have had a rougher than usual year. The past few years, I have been only too happy to say goodbye to the past year and welcome in the new year. Each year I have hoped and dreamed of it being better than the previous. Sadly, the past six (or more) years have been hard. Each year has been more stressful than the one before. Each year has had a number of battle grounds. This past year was no different.

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2016 was probably the worst year of them all yet. In retrospect to what has happened other years, it shouldn’t have been felt as badly, but you know the saying, “the last straw broke the camel’s back”... that was me. Over the past few years of all that has taken place, this was the year I just eventually “broke”.  No more.

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God promises us He never gives us more than we can bear (1 Corinthians 10:13). What I forgot was that I needed to lean more closely into Him.


At one point recently, I told my husband, I know I haven’t passed any trials with honors this year, but I think I passed & overcame regardless. While it was said in a joking manner, there is truth. I may have been “skinned” alive, but I am still walking, breathing and more importantly, praising and thanking God through it all. There have been days, okay, more like weeks, where I just couldn’t anymore. I questioned much. I searched for answers. I begged & pleaded for revelation.


I prayed & searched for strongholds, fears, disobedience, sin, healing & forgiveness etc… because surely there must be something at the root…


Eventually I gave up. I told God that whatever it is, He either didn’t want me to know or He needed to break me some more in order to find it. Knowing what I felt, I was unable to handle anything else and still asking God to do whatever needed to be done, He answered. It was simple.


All of us experience trials. It is inevitable.


Wait.


Lean into me (God).


I was reminded of Joseph. Noah. Daniel. Moses. Abraham. David. They had displayed a characteristic I needed: To be confident in just knowing that God is with me. Through it all. If I know that I know that God is still in control, what does it really matter what is happening around me or the who or the why. God knows. God IS in control.


This New Year, 2017, I am not asking for a better year. I am not dreaming of a “prosperous” New Year.


I am asking God to help me through the year despite what comes. I am asking for His strength to carry me through the hard times which may come. I am asking for His peace to fill me through the year. I am asking for His joy to overwhelm me. I am asking Him for His presence to sustain me, comfort me, fill me and lead me.

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Throughout the year to come, good or bad, my “goal” will be to FIXATE my eyes, my thoughts, and my heart on GOD.

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Where do I find my hope when I failed?



When it's unexpected ~

When it doesn't go as planned ~

When it takes a sharp turn ~

When it doesn't even get off the ground ~

Ever feel this way?

Can I be completely honest? This is how life feels ... like I completely missed something...


I have been trying to make sense of this thing called life, whilst we as people are surrounded by hopelessness and despair. Watching people scramble, doing the best they can, hoping for a better tomorrow. Believing in a lie.
                                       A lie that we can overcome.
                                                    A lie that you can pick yourself back up.
                                                             A lie that we tell each other over and over- that "it's all OK."

Truth is, we cannot do it! We cannot make everything better. We cannot control our destiny.

I know, because I've tried. I've failed, time and time again.

Yes, I work hard. Yes, I put myself out there. Yes, I love my fellow beings around me, trying to be the good Samaritan. I always try to do what I consider right- no matter the cost. This is what society and people will tell you is the right thing to do and eventually you will succeed.

EVENTUALLY...

I don't believe we will ever get to eventually...

I don't believe we will ever have the epiphany of this life.

Why then do we focus on it?

My physical needs. My physical desires. My physical flesh outweighs my spirit.
Why? Is it because I feed my flesh more? Perhaps I've created a beast that is too strong now to beat off? My mind and heart have been warped and tainted into believing so many lies.

Lies that tell me I need more. I deserve more. I've worked too hard to fail.

And then...comes the question..."In comparison to what? In comparison to who? You deserve it because you're better than someone else? Better than something else? Really?!"

If we all deserved a better life because of our hearts being set on good, then we would not have poverty; we would not have broken people. We, in theory, based on our belief system, should live in a world of peace and bliss.

Realizing I need to acknowledge that the "goodness" in me is NOT enough. I can never change my outcome. I cannot make my world perfect. I know because I tried. I tried over and over again. I know because I tried, and failed, over and over again.

Hope is the only reason we go on.
                   Hope is the only reason we try again.

But, one thing I've learned is this... I cannot place my hope in me! I cannot place hope in a another person- they too, are not perfect and will fail me! I cannot place my hope in ANYTHING to do with this world. {Hopes placed in mortals die with them; all the promise of their power comes to nothing~ Proverbs 11:7}

So then, where do I place my hope?...
Who then, do I place my hope in?...

{But those who HOPE in the Lord will renew their strength. 
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. 
                                                                                                                ~ Isaiah 40:31}

My soul will find rest in God {Psalm 62:5}

I will get up. I will press on. I will move forward. NOT because of me...

{May the God of HOPE fill you with ALL joy and peace as you TRUST in HIM, so that you may     overflow with HOPE by the POWER of the HOLY SPIRIT ~Romans 15:13}



Monday, June 13, 2016

Workout Strong & Simple

Workout Strong & Simple


When you no longer feel comfortable in your own skin...When you no longer have breath climbing stairs... When you need to refuel for much needed strength just to make it through the day... 
Yes, this is me! Time to get back to being healthy and strong! #StyleSimple


Workout Strong & Simple by carriprior featuring holiday jewelry